Saturday, August 2, 2008

Huge Grace

6:30pm Saturday, Aug.2 (Moscow, Russia)
I imagined updating our blog more often...the days just race by I guess. It is hard to believe that we are closing in on our departure from Russia and will soon be headed back to California...hard to believe but REALLY good nonetheless.

We are in Moscow right now, we arrived early this AM after a night train from Nizhny. We were hoping to drop our luggage here at our wonderful hotel and "kill some time" walking to Red Square and historical Arbat Street. We got to our hotel before 7am and were beyond thrilled when they let us check into our room 8 hours early!! I nearly cried honestly...it was such a surprising blessing. I took a long bath, read for a while, and just relaxed. It was so nice to have this time to refresh and rest a bit before heading out on our day of sightseeing and walking more than 10 miles!

We had a great time seeing St. Basil's Cathedral, Red Square, The Kremlin, and many other impressively huge buildings. We are absolutely amazed at the vastness of Moscow. It is like nothing I have ever seen in my life.

Our visit with "Little Man" yesterday was great. He was so fun and playful...we smiled and laughed the entire visit I think. We also got to speak with the orphanage Dr. again and got some additional information about him which was very helpful. We have been very concerned with his "smallness"--not in and of itself, but he has stopped gaining weight (in the last 2 months) and had only gained a small amount in the 2 months prior to that. This was alarming to us and our IA specialist back in the US. We were able to get his last blood work writeup (from mid-July) and our IA Dr. believes he may be anemic which could account for his weight not increasing recently. This was a huge relief. We got to observe him in his "play group" and speak with his day-time caregiver who could not say enough about his good eating and sleeping habits. Our translator even laughed at one point and said, "Guys, she is very impressed with him, she is going on and on..." (By the way, our translator says, "Guys..." somewhere in every sentence...it's a kick!)

Anyhow, we ended our visit filled with tears. We left him a blanket, a small photo album of our house, family, etc. and the "Build-A-Bear" our family made for him a few weeks ago. We recorded our voices into it with the kids and "Little Man" and the orphanage staff thought that was pretty great. I was a wreck as we left--it seemed to come so fast...it felt like time was slipping away. I couldn't soak it all in, I wanted to remember everything but struggled to process what my eyes were seeing and my heart was feeling. As we walked down the stairs and out the front door of the orphanage, I wept. I couldn't pull myself together. But as we rounded the corner and looked back through the large iron gate that marks the orphanage grounds, a deep peace accompanied my broken heart. A peace that God was at work. He has been reminding me that He has gone before us, will continue to guide us, and will continue to protect, heal and bless our little boy who we had to leave behind. God does not have to leave him. He stays, as He always has.

We have decided to keep "Little Man's" given name, Ivan, which means "God is gracious". This entire process has been an experience of God's immense grace. And we'll give him the middle name Philip, after his new daddy who traveled half way around the world to meet him and will come back in a few months to bring him home. Ivan Philip. The grace of God and the love of a father...I couldn't want anything more for my son.

As I close out this post, it feels like I am closing out the whole experience here, and that feels almost as huge of a task as this massive city where I write from. These have been some of the hardest days of my life. I do not really have the words for all that I have seen and experienced, it will take me some time to process all of this. But I do know that God has showered His blessings on us in this far-away land. He has reminded us of His grace in more ways than I can recount. God is gracious indeed.

4 comments:

Chrystal said...

Congratulations to your family... including Ivan Philip. There is certainly comfort in knowing that, even though you will be apart for a little while longer, the Lord will stay with all of you. When we were away from our children, I often imagined them tucked safely under the shelter of God's tremendous wings. I held close to Psalm 91:4:

"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

See you soon.

Much love,
The Mocabee Family

Anonymous said...

Dear Wolf Family
As I read this blog, I am filled with joy for all of you! What an amazing story and journey that God has taken you through. I can't imagine the feelings of leaving the orphanage with Ivan still there for the next couple of months but your testimony of God's grace and strength are very evident in your blog. I will continue to pray for strength each day for your family as you await the time to go back for him and bring him HOME! May you continue to feel God's loving arms surrounding all of you here in USA and also around Ivan in Russia. May God grant you his PEACE. Praying for a safe trip for you as you come home and a big homecoming from your other children.
With what little I have read on the blog, I am thrilled that Nate will have the opportunity to play for you at APU as it is evident that God is very real in your life not only on the field but off it as well. What more could a mother want for her son who is 2100 miles away than to know that there are some great spiritual mentors involved in his life.
Blessings
Sharon L Nienhuis

Anonymous said...

Ivan Philip is a beautiful name! I really can't wait to hear all about your trip. I love him so much already and can't wait to meet my new nephew!!

Melissa

Ben & Melissa said...

What a beautiful post. I can relate to so much of what you wrote--the difficulty in saying goodbye and trying to remember every sight, smell, and emotion to carry with you. We are praying that you will be able to return to bring Ivan home very soon. I love his name, and all that it means. You are a blessed family indeed.

Melissa for the Nugent family