For the Memory Books

Yesterday was one of those days. One of those days for the memory books, a day I think will be etched in my mind and heart for many, many years to come.

We are absolutely thrilled to be part of an amazing church here! (I secretly believe the CHURCH is the reason God moved us to Texas, but please don't tell Phil's boss.) We had received an email earlier in the week about a special surprise in the Sunday morning service, something that the kiddos needed to be part of as well so we would all be in worship together. I actually have always LOVED this whole concept, but I think I will love it even more when Ivan isn't quite so wiggly and loud; let's just say we drew a lot of attention to ourselves way back in the back!

Following an inspiring and abbreviated sermon, (which may or may not have been shortened on account of sweet little Ivan,) our church family was given an amazing assignment. The service had only been 45 or so minutes in length, so we were asked to take that "extra time" and head out together to go shopping for food and other necessities to fill some very empty food pantries in our area. I love this kind of thing--practical, helpful, great teaching moments with the kids, etc. I actually teared up, so thankful again for this church we have been blessed to be part of. Our congregation would be 1 of 15 other churches in our area all taking part in the same simple act; they had actually had to "warn" local stores about what would be happening! I love that!

As we headed out to the car, we were already chatting excitedly with the kids about this great opportunity. We were giving them the details of what we needed to purchase, why we would take part, and how it would bless many other children and their families who were hungry and desperately needed food.

Again, I eat this kind of thing up and am always looking for opportunities to teach our kids about the needs of those around our community and around the world. I want them to want to be part of the solutions. I want them to be generous and joyful about serving and helping. I was literally giddy; I might have even skipped if it hadn't been so crowded and busy in the parking lot!

That is why I literally stopped in shock when Barrett asked, "Can we please go home?"

Now, he DID just have his tonsils out a week ago and was feeling pretty puny, but did he not also just sit in the same service I did and hear about the need we were getting to help fill? Did he not just also hear our chatter about helping and serving and doing our small part?

I nearly unleashed my sermon on selfishness and attitude and a whole slew of other things when he said, "I want to get my wallet."

He wanted to go home and get his wallet.

We climbed into the van to hear Maggie and Maryn ask, "Yeah, can we get our wallets too and spend some of our own money to buy the food for the kids who are hungry?"

These are the moments we parents absolutely love and want to bottle up and pull out when things are not going quite so fabulously aren't they? We of course drove home (which is really not that close I will add), got their wallets, and headed off to shop.

They held their dollar bills with such pride as they shopped for items off the list. Barrett and Maggie decided to combine their $42 and get the greatest variety of the requested items they could find. They had pasta, cereal, flour, sugar, canned fruits and veggies, and much more. Maryn, on the other hand, wanted to spend her money on her own favorites, assuming correctly that all kids would want macaroni and cheese, chicken noodle soup, and cheerios. She also threw in a few cans of chicken, perhaps concerned about the carb-loading she was encouraging?

Their proud smiles lit up the store as they paid for their carts of food and loaded the bags back into the van all by themselves. And though I did not think it possible, their smiles grew even larger when we pulled into the drop-off and they placed their bags among the mounds of bags already donated. The effort raised 40 tons of food in just a few hours! Maggie in particular was elated at the sight of all that had been brought; she said over and over again, "Whoa! That is SO cool!"

What a simple and deeply profound thing. They bought food for hungry people. I am so thankful for an opportunity put in front of us that we could take part in and watch our children be blessed and be a blessing. They have already asked to go shopping again and take more food for the hungry.

A day for the memory books indeed!

A New Forever

Of all the days that are special and memorable in our adoption process with Ivan, November 1, 2008 trumps them all for me. Today is the ONE YEAR anniversary of having Ivan in our arms for good! Today is the anniversary of the day we traveled back to the orphanage for the last time...

• ...when we walked away with changed hearts, changes lives, and a new son.
• ...when we said farewell to the caregivers that had held, changed, fed, and bathed Ivan for the previous year.
• ...when we watched tears fall down one special caregiver's cheeks as she bid Ivan farewell (a visual answer to our prayers that Ivan would be a favored, would be loved, would bond with those who were there when we could not be)
• ...when we hurriedly walked to the car in the chilly night air while I said to Ivan, "We are busting you outta' here!", turning our tears to laughter.

For me, November 1st was the day in the process when it all seemed real. There was something about the entire process for me that seemed like a movie or a novel, something that was happening, but not really to us; something we were watching and even experiencing, but not really ourselves living. There were so many documents, appointments, phone calls, questions, fears, doubts, and dreams that it all began to feel very surreal.

I remember being in court on Halloween, giving my speech, feeling like I was having an out of body experience. Not the kind that is creepy or spiritual, just the sense that what was occurring was so strange and huge and miraculous that it might not be real. I remember going to sleep (or TRYING to do so) the night after we were pronounced Ivan's family and he was given the name, Ivan Philip Wolf, wondering if tomorrow would really come. Would this child we had prayed for since even before he was born really be ours? Would they really let us swoop him up and take him home with us just like that? Would this new forever really ever begin?

November 1, 2008 will definitely go down in history as one of the greatest, most memorable days of my life. I have vivid images of virtually each and every moment of the day:

• getting Ivan's passport after paying our fine for "breaking Russian law!";
• shopping for food, milk, and diapers that we would need for our first days together;
• purchasing the train tickets to head back to Moscow;
• the long, long drive out to the orphanage;
• seeing Ivan again with the new realization that I would never have to "visit" him again but would instead eat and sleep and drive and live with him;
• changing him into his first outfit and soft leather shoes;
• driving back to the hotel in utter disbelief and overwhelming thanks;
• bathing him and snuggling him in his delicious footed pajamas;
• standing over him as he slept with thick tears in my eyes...

I never want to forget that day. It was HOPE realized. It was a miracle. It was the beginning our new forever.

And I never want to forget today. Today I feel so blessed and full of love for my precious son that I could burst. I squeezed him a hundred times today and rocked him even after he had fallen asleep just to feel his warm footed-pajama body and hear his tiny breaths.

What a day. What a year. What a journey.

Words are hard to find that adequately express all that my heart if feeling today...this momma is going to sleep tonight with a full and thankful heart! "The LORD has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!" Hallelujah! (And seriously, could he BE any cuter?!)