Here we go!

Truth be told, this journey has seemed much longer than my calendar lets me know is reality. I have been dreaming about this adoption for many years, the last one and a half seeming particularly long. Just days after the birth of our third child, I read an article while waiting in the pediatrician's office about 2 families that had adopted in Russia and came home to tell my husband that I wanted to begin the process of researching and pursuing adoption. He looked at me with sympathetic eyes knowing that I must be immensely sleep deprived to even mention such a thing. Phil has always been open to the idea of adopting, but definitely thought it would be much later in life for us.
As our third child M grew, so did my interest and passion to adopt. I spent hours researching, reading, and talking to agencies and families about this journey I was literally aching to begin. I began to pray very specifically that God would either fan the flame of interest in my heart to adopt, or would snuff it out. Boy did He fan! A HUGE confirmation for me was when my husband began to talk about us adopting and telling others that we felt called to adopt. I knew that the Lord was stirring in his heart and it would only be a matter of time before my dream to add a precious child to our family through the miracle of adoption would come true.
And then we waited...we waited just to begin the process due to some possible job/ re-location opportunities. The wait seemed like torture at times--I knew that the actual process of adopting would bring many months of waiting, but now even the pre-adoption process was filled with wait. But the Lord showed me purpose in the wait and He grew my faith. And here we are with an ALMOST completed dossier and a growing excitement for this stage in the journey. Having been physically pregnant 3 times now, I have grown to appreciate the 9+ months of growing a child, and dreaming of what he/ she will look like. I have been thankful for the TIME to prepare my house, my family, and myself to add another member to our family. And I feel the same way about this stage of the adoption process. We need the time--we need to learn more and more about Russia, prepare our "new brother's" room, to raise money for this venture, and to grow HUGE places in our hearts for this special little man. There are days (today being one of them) that I am emotionally tired and physically aching for this new son. I am certain that my hormones are more out of whack with this adoption than with any of my other pregnancies! And so yes, I do consider us pregnant. This child grows in our hearts each day--we dream of experiences, opportunities, conversations, and 'firsts'. And in these months of waiting (which I know have only just begun) we ask the Lord to fill our time with things that will prepare us for the 'birth' into our family of this little man we are just dying to love on...