One Week

Ivan and I have been home one week today. My tiredness tells me it has been much longer, but it has really seemed like a blink. He continues to be a joy and loving him is a deep privilege. We are learning routine, relationship, and what it looks like to be a family of 6. (This attempt of a photo of our 4 went really well I think :) As I said, we are LEARNING what it looks like to be a family of 6...or 7 if we count Ivan's closest pal and greatest rival...our dog!) Before I move onto what is heavy on my heart, I will share a precious photo of Ivan. When I look at him I just can't believe it is real. He is ours. Two weeks ago today, he slept his last night in the #7 crib in a room with 15 others. Tonight as I rocked him to sleep, I said over and over again, "You are home... You are home...Finally home."

Today has been an interesting one. Phil's brother and his family lost their home last night in a fire. Everything. We are so thankful they are all OK, but grieving with them this tremendous loss. Their kids has lost their favorite things, and the family photos and home movies are now among the charred rubble where their house once stood. It literally burned to the ground. It is a sobering and haunting image to picture them standing where their house once was and looking around to find almost nothing that was once theirs.

It has made me do some thinking today. My heart aches for their loss and grief, for their kids and for them as parents as they try to navigate this loss not only for themselves, but also for their children, our nieces and nephews. This will impact them for the rest of their lives.

I have also been blessed tremendously by the community that is rising up to help, support, and bless them and the other families who have been affected by this tragedy. Strangers want to help. Many of our friends, who have never even met Phil's brother and their family, want to know what they can do, what they can buy, how they can help. I am so thankful for the love that is already emerging to help them through this time. I know that it is not about the replaceable things, but about the things which can't be re-purchased, etc. But what blesses my heart right now are the huge hearts that are ready and willing to do whatever they can. Our family has also experienced this beautiful grace this year.

We have been blessed repeatedly this year by the kindness and generosity of many, many people. Some we already knew, some we know now, and some we will never even meet. When I think of how Ivan's life has changed in these last two weeks, I am convinced that our greatest gift to him is not from us at all. His greatest "gain" is this rich community of people who love, give, and sacrifice. His greatest gain is our greatest blessing also.

Please pray for Dave, Jill and their kids tonight. We are asking God to draw very, very near.

Welcomed

We are HOME! It is hard to believe, but SOOO wonderful. Our 13 hour Aeroflot flight was well...l...o...n...g...and it was on Aeroflot...I will leave it at that. Ivan did great though--he slept a bit and won back some of the favor of the grumpy man behind me who thought I shouldn't be allowed to lean my chair back(!)...thus the extra long feeling of this already long flight!

We were warmly welcomed home on Friday evening at the airport by Phil and Ivan's 3 older siblings! It was so special to witness Ivan "meeting" Maggie and Maryn. It feels like he has been part of our family for a very long time already...months of talking and praying about him made it seem so normal and expected in one sense, and in another sense it seemed the strangest, wildest, most unreal thing possible.

We received another warm welcome once we arrived home: a large "Welcome Home Ivan" sign hanging on our garage door, an "It's A Boy" stork, balloons, and homemade posters galore...it was a wonderful welcome indeed.
These first hours have been full of many firsts: Ivan's first glimpse of (and obsessive licking by) a dog...(TERRIFYING to be sure but he has warmed up to our little dog quite well); first steps in the cold wet grass...not exactly how he prefers to spend his hours; his first experience in L.A. traffic (the ride home from the airport that almost did us in!); first of many swings on our swing-set; first time to go #2 in the bathtub...you know all of the essential 'firsts' to squeak into those early hours! He has done amazingly well honestly. He is a trooper for sure and has amazed us with his good attitude. I would also like to say here that Ivan being a trooper does not at all negate his very spirited tantrums and crying spurts. Unfortunately for him, we still find them very cute and are even tempted to photograph such adorable sights...Again, I know the cuteness of this will pass, but for now, I drink it all in and want to remember each and every second.

My mom, "Nana", was able to stay and meet Ivan, yet another wonderful treat. She had been here looking after the kids (and Phil!) while Clara and I waited out the week in Russia. We were thrilled for him to get to meet both of this grandmothers so soon.

A highlight of the weekend was making an appearance at the playoff soccer game that Phil was coaching. Literally, as we got out of the car, our team scored a goal and went on to win the game only minutes later. Ivan was quite the celebrity for sure. As the game ended, Ivan and I walked toward the player huddle, eager to introduce Ivan to these remarkable men who had hosted a send off for us on the night before we left for Russia to bring him home. As the team saw us coming, they began to chant, "Ivan Wolf! Ivan Wolf!"...it was music to our ears. The beaming smile on Phil's proud face as he introduced Ivan to his team was a sight to see. I can't wait to tell Ivan the story of this moment over and over for the rest of his life. It was so special, so memorable, so much like the movie Rudy!(...the chanting that is.)

We have now settled in and plan to lay low for a bit. We are loving these early days with Ivan finally home. Our family of 6 feels wonderfully full. The welcoming continues with phone calls, delicious meals, generous gifts, and even praise filled tears. People keep saying, "I just can't believe he is here...in the flesh...this is the one we have been praying for". We feel the same way. The fulfillment of this dream feels too good to be true.

We are abundantly thankful and blessed beyond words.

"The LORD has done great things for us and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3

Serious Cuteness

I am tired and heading to bed soon so this will be short.

We had a good Dr. appointment today in preparation for our Embassy appointment tomorrow. The Dr. felt that Ivan was good all around. He commented on what a good sign it was that Ivan was "manipulative" to adults...he is a charmer for sure and was totally hacked off when the Dr. took his toy away in order to examine him. I would also like to share that he has already gained nearly a pound since we have had him. 4 days, 1 pound...now that is some progress! He is inching his way back up to the growth curve and the Dr. also commented that he is proportionate though small and will "grow quickly". There were several other families at the Dr. with us...it is so fun to see other miracles before my very eyes.

We spent lots of time outside walking today. Ivan loves his sling and is quite content to walk all over this monstrous city. We even did an evening walk tonight which was spectacular. It is hard to imagine that Red Square in the dark is even more magnificent than it is in the light, but it was just breathtaking.

As I said, I am off to bed. But I will leave you with some ADORABLE photos. My personal favorite is the black and white one...honestly...the finger in the nose IN the "Little Wolf" outfit...it is almost more cuteness than I can take.

Good night.

Happy

Now that court is over and we are just spending a few days in Moscow, there is not such pressing and interesting info to post. But I will tell you that we are having a great time here and Ivan is doing really well.

He is eating well, sleeping well (praise the Lord for his little thumb!), and is very playful and cuddly. Phil and Barrett left yesterday--they made it safely and are home sleeping in their own beds right now. Clara and I had a low key day yesterday--we ate here at the hotel, took Ivan to the hotel play room (how great is that?), and turned in to bed early.

We walked back down to Red Square this morning to a flea market of sorts. By the end of our shopping, we were surrounded by hundreds of police/ guards/ soldiers and literally thousands of people who were making their way to the festivities outside of Red Square for the "Day of Consent and Agreement" celebration. We found lots of wonderful things in the little market--the best of which is a black fur hat that looks ADORABLE on Clara! She loves it and I must say it is perfect on her. We headed back for lunch at the hotel again. Their pelmeni is so yummy and was perfect after our chilly walk/ shopping spree. Ivan LOVES pelmeni too. Clara will be very busy at our house when we return making hundreds of her yummy little dumlings for us to freeze and eat all winter.

Clara and Ivan are napping now and we are headed out in a bit on a tour of some sights around here. We pitched in with another adoptive family to get a private tour guide for a few hours who will give us the history of much of the Kremlin, take us to an art gallery, the Grand Cathedral, and even help us navigate the Metro. Mary is from Michigan and is traveling with her mother also. She is a wonderful single mom adopting little Christina. It is fun to be in this hotel as we see many other adoptive families.

As I said, Ivan is doing great. He is happy and active--perhaps a bit too active for our little hotel room. Before his nap today I let him walk up and down the hallways...he had the best time! He is walking everywhere and is super curious. He is very ticklish too which is so much fun. Oh, and he has a little temper. I nearly laughed my head off yesterday when he got mad at me while changing his clothes and swatted his hand at me saying, "yet!"; I realized he was trying to say "Nyet!"...my little boy has only been with me a few days and is already telling me "No!"...he should be able to hold his own at home without any problems at all!

Tomorrow (Wednesday) we head to our Embassy approved Doctor's appointment and then to the US Embassy on Thursday. Please pray that all goes well at the Embassy--especially since I am using Power of Attorney over Phil, etc. We fly out on Friday around 2:15pm Moscow time and will land in CA at 4:30pm. I'm not entirely sure how Ivan will do on the plane, but we did end up buying him a seat and I am so glad. Seriously, Aeroflot might be the smallest seat/ leg room airplane I have ever been on. At least this way we will have a bit of space between us to let Ivan move a tiny bit.

All in all, we are happy and peaceful. I am enjoying this time to get acquainted with Ivan. He is such a sweet little boy--and funny too. There is lots of laughter and many smiles...I am so, so thankful.

(Here are a few pictures from our court date...talk about Happy! Phil and I with the social worker/ Barrett with Natasha our translator. P.S.--Please note my Halloween outfit...every good Southern girl likes to dress for the holidays!)

Forever...

(It is very early on Sunday morning here)
Our day Saturday was wonderfully full. We woke up well rested from our best night of sleep, after being physically and emotionally exhausted from the court hearing on Friday. Phil and I headed out early with Natasha our translator to the passport/ visa building to apply for Ivan’s passport and pay the fine we owed for traveling on a business visa instead of an adoption visa. We literally sat around and waited for HOURS but in the end, accomplished both of our tasks there. Phil and I were “scolded” separately regarding the business visas. The tone of voice was not even stern, but when Natasha translated the officer’s words, “You have violated Russian law” Phil’s heart nearly stopped…He came out of the room and said, “Those were words I never imagined hearing in my lifetime…not words I really wanted to hear!” It was a seamless process and we left with excitement knowing that having Ivan’s passport would allow us to pick him up from the orphanage that day.

We went back to pick up Barrett and Clara (Barrett had apparently gotten worried about us since it took half the day to do our 1st errand) and headed to the grocery store to purchase some food and milk for Ivan. This was quite stressful for me honestly. I realized how little we really know about his schedule, likes, dislikes, allergies, etc. I felt so overwhelmed and ill equipped to be buying his food. Natasha kept asking me what I wanted to purchase and I kept saying, “I have no idea…honestly, no idea”. I am sure this gave her great confidence in my parenting skills, but she helped me and I took her advice. (Most of it…but I did pass on the jar of lamb baby food…lamb…I just couldn’t do it.)

The drive out to the orphanage seemed longer than ever. We were in a bit of traffic and it was later in the afternoon than we had ever been before. I was thankful for a quiet car as Phil and Barrett slept for most of the nearly 2 hour drive. (Clara and Natasha were in the other car).

I cried for much of the drive, not believing that THIS was the day we have been working towards and dreaming about. Ivan would leave the orphanage with us forever. He had slept his last night there. Eaten his last meal there. He would now come home with us to a new life, new family, new forever.

When the orphanage director brought him in, he was again nervous but warmed in time and allowed me to change his clothes and get him ready for our departure. I struggled through much of this time, feeling like my emotions were too big for my heart to contain. I was thankful, hopeful, sad, and heart-broken.


We took gifts to the caregivers, directors, and doctors. We also took the shoes Barrett had purchased. I imagined these exchanges to be tear-filled and memorable as I thanked them for their love and care for my son, but the items were delivered by Natasha while we waited for final papers to leave. We did have our moments of thanks, but the staff was quick to turn the thanks back to us and hurry us along.

I asked for permission to tour Ivan’s living quarters once again and take photographs this time. While not immediately thrilled with my seemingly presumptuous request, the orphanage director obliged. I am so glad I asked. That short walk will never be forgotten as I long as I live.

As we came to the bottom of the stairs, we turned a different way than I had gone on our first trp to see Ivan’s sleeping and play room. When I questioned, she told me that he was bigger now, he had moved to the side for the older children. It is law that you can’t see and certainly photograph any other children in the orphanage so I could hear that they had moved all of the children into a side room to stay out of my view.

We went first into the crib room, the nighttime sleeping room. Ivan’s afternoon caregiver was there waiting to show me which of the many cribs in the room was his. All of the cribs were numbered and as I looked around the room and tried to get it all into a photo, she waked over to a crib in the middle of many others and said, “This is Vanya’s crib. This is where he sleeps”. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes as I saw the number “7” on my sweet Ivan’s crib. “7” was Phil’s number in college and professional soccer for many years. Barrett now wears the “7” jersey and Maggie has worn the “7”… always to be like their Daddy. Ivan has also worn the “7”. He had a number “7” bib hanging in the bathroom and a number “7” sponge that he was cleaned with. He sat in chair “7” to eat and slept in crib “7”. Tender mercies from a loving God. Tender mercies.

Our farewell to the orphanage staff and especially Ivan’s afternoon caregiver proved to be overwhelmingly emotional. My heart sang with thanks and sorrow all at the same time as the caregiver asked to hold him and kiss him once more. Her tears were treasures I will hold in my heart forever. The director gave Barrett and Clara a small gift so they would “never forget Russia” and we were rushed out the door to the car while crying and waving just one last time.

The ride home was in the dark and Ivan was still as a mouse. So still in fact that a few times I put my hand firmly on his back to make sure he was breathing. He laid his head on my chest and firmly grasped one of my fingers for the entire ride home. With his other hand, he held one of Barrett’s fingers for the entire ride as well. Brothers. Ivan has a brother. A brother who worked for over a year to make this journey to the other side of the world to bring him home. A brother who could barely contain himself all morning waiting to go pick up his “little buddy”. A brother forever. The drive was almost silent. Peaceful. There were many prayers and thankful tears.

My cheeks hurt from smiling as I fed Ivan (he ate like a champ!) and watched him play after we returned. He is a smart and happy child…he “came alive” after only a short time here in the hotel room. I sponged him off with yummy baby soap and then did what I had been dying to do for so very long. I rubbed baby lotion on him and put him in a delicious footed sleeper and held him so tight. I didn’t want to put him to bed, but of course knew it was best. He has now been asleep all night, squirming a bit and quietly sucking him thumb, just like Maryn, Maggie, and Barrett all did.

I kept standing over the crib and staring at this precious gift. This miracle. We truly believe we are saving his life and as I looked down at his tiny body, sleeping soundly in he crib, I cried tears of praise over and over again. My heart kept simply saying, “Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus.”

I am sorry for the super long post, I just had to get this all out. A good cry at the computer has proven to be healing for my soul quite a few times in this process! We are heading to Moscow in a few hours on the train. I am honestly not ready to leave Nizhny yet. But what makes it good and sweet and beautiful is that this time, Ivan comes too!

Forever...