Today.

My life has been forever changed. I will never again see October 31 the same. Today, in a small court room up many flights of stairs, on a brisk day in Nizhny Novgorod, Russia, I became a mother of 4.

We have just returned from our court hearing where Ivan was pronounced Ivan Philip Wolf and part of our family forever! Court went smoothly. Barrett did wonderful sitting silently and ultimately I am convinced won favor from the judge for us.

After our speeches, the judge asked some questions, a few of them about Barrett. She was so impressed that he was there, behaving so perfectly. She asked how he felt about having a brother and if he had been able to meet Ivan. The Lord was so very present, giving us peace and calmness. We spoke clearly and without mistake. The judge smiled many times, especially when looking through our family photo album. There was an unexplainable calm in the court room--the Lord mabe Himself known.

As the end of court came, the Public Attorney granted her approval of the adoption, but did not give her consent to waive the 10 day waiting period. Our coordinators knew how much we were desiring this but had communicated that it is not common in Nizhny anymore and is unheard of in many other regions in Russia. Our hearts sank when the Attorney's words were translated. The judge left the room and I asked if the judge could disagree with the Attorney and waive the 10 days anyway. We were told that the judge had never disagreed with the Attorney before. I sat down, closed my eyes and began to pray. Although I will admit that I was nervous and worried, there was a much more dominant feeling of confidence upon my entire being.

Many months ago, one of our pastors shared the following passage with us: "The king's [ruler's] heart is in the hand of the LORD. Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes." Proverbs 21:1. I am convinced that the Lord put this on our pastor's heart for us for this very moment. This is how I prayed.

Our translator was very nervous and upset. As I finished praying, I knew that the judge would waive the 10 days, even though the attorney had said No. From the beginning, this process has been evidence that it is the Lord who is at work and will receive all credit, not any woman or man. I knew that though this would be the first time it had ever happened this way, it could happen this way with the Lord at work. His mighty Hand moved.

The judge came back, waived the 10 days, and we were done. Parents of 4. Mommy and Daddy to Ivan forever. This day will never be forgotten. We left in a daze. Our coordinator and translator rushed out to complete the final steps of our adoption. Final steps.

We are set to pick up Ivan tomorrow!! We will spend one last day in NN and then head down to Moscow on Sunday. Phil and Barrett leave for CA on November 3rd and Clara, Ivan and I get to go home on November 7th!

This post is full of errors I am sure, and I know it is not very well-written, but I am busy and excited and overwhelmed. Thank you for your prayers! Here are just a few photos of us with Ivan yesterday...more to come SOON you can be sure!

Full

We have just returned from our visit with Ivan. There really are not words for what today held for us. I was nervous this morning before we left and even for the hour and half car ride to his orphanage. We sat down in the orphanage Director's office first and heard a medical update since we were last here. The anticipation was building and my patience was wearing very thin.

We were then taken in to the family meeting room where Ivan was waiting for Phil and I. That initial moment of seeing him was more than I expected. All of my anxiety and fear were washed away and joy took over. He looks mostly the same, with a tiny bit more hair but not much change in his size. After a few minutes with just Phil and I, we sent for Clara and Barrett to come in. Again, there are not words for these meetings. Barrett was great with him and he took to big brother very well. Thankfully I took another set of the same stacking cups he fell in love with on our first trip. Ivan and Barrett were precious playing build the tower and knock it over. Barrett also loved feeding him Cheerios which he really likes.

Ivan took to Clara also-it was such a special moment to hear her speaking Russian to him and introducing herself as his Babushka. He loved her glasses and jewelry and was all around very playful and interactive. Everyone in the orphanage LOVED her and is so excited that he will have a true Russian Babushka!

He is walking a bit now so that was fun to see. Still not entirely confident on his feet, he preferred to hold onto one of our hands to get around--contact we of course were thrilled with. Truly, the entire visit was rich and wonderful--we felt confident and at ease.

My mama's heart was filled to overflowing as Ivan fell asleep on me by the end of our visit. I have said many times that I think there is healing power in holding a sleeping baby...today that was even more true than ever before. Tears rolled down my cheek as my baby boy slept on my chest. I breathed him in and thanked the Lord for yet another tender act to my soul.

We are heading out now for a meeting to prepare for court tomorrow. Our court case is at 2pm which we have learned since being here is actually 4am in CA as Russia has switched to winter time already. We feel excited and hopeful. We will be sure to update right away after court.

I also want to share a wonderful thing we were able to witness and take part in today. I was asked by my new friend Tracy who adopted a little girl from Ivan's orphanage only a few months ago, to take a photo album of their little girl back to the orphanage to show them how well she was doing. The Director was thrilled and of course remembered the sweet little girl. She kept saying Thank you, Thank you very much, and was delighted to be able to keep the album and show the other caregivers. Thank you Tracy for allowing us a window into this miracle. I have photos of the Director looking at the book for you!

Tombs, Trains, and Lattes

Our day in Moscow was fabulous! The weather was wonderful, we got to see many things, and even enjoyed some familiar treats in this far away place. Our hotel in Moscow was excellent--we are so thankful for the Marriott points we were able to use there.

The highlight in Moscow was being in Red Square with Phil's mom, Clara. We had been walking around enjoying the sights and sounds of Moscow for a while already, but something about standing in front of St. Basil's Cathedral is huge and grounding. Clara stood there looking at the gorgeous building and with tears in her eyes said, "I never imagined I would be standing here again...With one of my sons...to bring home my 12th grandchild...I just can't believe I am really here". We are so glad she is here to share in this with us, and we are also thankful for her Russian which is helping us get directions, order our food, and buy groceries with a bit more confidence than our last trip.

We also went to "visit Lenin" as they say here. Now, this is creepy I will not lie. His body looks so strange in this dark, quiet dungeon of a tomb. Phil and I had wanted to "see him" on our last trip but it was busy and confusing and we ran out of time. This time, I was determined--it feels "once in a lifetime" to me. And I will not forget it. Perhaps the strangest thing I have seen, and very, very creepy. But also unforgettable.Starbucks and McDonalds helped Barrett feel safe and well fed. He has eaten french fries at nearly every meal so far I think. He also has a strong affection for pelimini, a ravioli type soup that Phil's mom has been spoiling us with for many years. Between the 2, I know he will always be well-fed here. (Not the mention the hefty stash of snacks and goodies we brought from home--a special thanks to Jamie for all of our favorites!)

After our morning in Moscow, we headed to the train station. Getting all of us in the train cabin with our luggage must have been a sight to behold. We did make it however and all took a rest in our very small, HOT train cabin. We were told that they lock the windows in the cold months...and the heat is on full blast. Everyone did great and we were thrilled to finally arrive in Nizhny around 7pm.

It is amazing how good and familiar everything feels here. We even saw some of the same hotel staff as our last trip--familiarity brings such comfort.

It is early in the morning here. We are waking up at strange hours, but also taking naps when needed so we feel rested. We head out to see Ivan in a few hours. I simply can't believe we are back and will be holding him again in such a short time. We are also tremendously thankful as our coordinator here said there is no problem with Barrett and Clara going to the orphanage with us--we are THRILLED with that as it was a question mark before we left to come. I am not even sure of all of my emotions about this visit honestly. There is such an unknown element about every single part of it. But we are going back to see our little man. We have been dreaming about this and praying for this and waiting for this. We are excited, nervous, ready, and peaceful. God is very near.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Here

We are here in Moscow and all is well. Our flight was very smooth (although there is NO leg room on Aeroflot!) The direct flight to Moscow made such a difference. All of our luggage made it safely with us, and that is a special blessing as we were traveling with 11 suitcases plus carry-ons.

Now, before you flip out on our over packing, I need to tell you that only 5 of those were ours, the others are for Clara's cousin Nina and her family that live here in Moscow. I must admit my stress and a bit or irritation at all of this luggage. We were packed in our minivan like sardines, looked like a movie going into the airport and through security, and I had this nagging fear that we would be at the Moscow airport looking everywhere for Nina. This was not at all the case. Everything with the luggage went smoothly, we only had to pay $200 total to bring all of the extra bags, Nina and one of her sons Sasha were all smiles and spotted Clara right away. And they must have had to wait a while since passport control took FOREVER.

The smiles on Nina and Sasha were worth every bit of stress and headache. And we got to meet family...priceless.

And for the record, Barrett did AWESOME! His Nintendo DS lasted every minute he was awake on the plane. We are having a bit of a bummer as his DS won't charge even with the converter here for some reason. He will survive though, he is proving to be a wonderful traveler!
I am letting Phil, Clara, and Barrett sleep in for a FEW more minutes, (it is 6:30am here) but it is not easy for me to do so. I am so eager to get out and see the sights before our train ride this afternoon up to Nizhny Novgorod. We plan to see Red Square and Barrett has McDonald's in his mind (and maybe Starbucks too!)

We are missing Maggie and Maryn like crazy but had a wonderful surprise to get an email from Maggie this morning. Thanks to all who are sending messages, we are so thankful for the ability to stay in touch.

We will write more tonight after our full day.

With much love,
Phil, Melanie, Barrett, and Clara

The Crazy Place

I am living in the "Crazy Place". You know the place where you can't complete a logical sentence, can't remember what you went into the garage for, and can't finish ANYthing? That is where I am. I call it the Crazy Place. It is also the place where I get bizarre surges of "super productivity"--I clean out the garage, move all of the furniture out of the bedrooms to have the carpets cleaned, pack, unpack, and repack suitcases , do a million and one errands at super speed, and still have time for a nice warm bath in the wee hours of my quiet night. But all the while, in between my productive surges, I am in the crazy place. I forget to eat (actually I should say I forget to eat meals, I seem to have no problem remembering to eat peanut butter M&Ms and Hot Tamales!), am WAY TOO sensitive to sounds and distractions, and sometimes stare off into space.

People keep asking me if I am excited. In all truth, I am not. I am overwhelmed. I am happy, I feel peaceful, and hopeful, but I am not excited. Excited feels light and free, I feel nervous. I wonder what I have forgotten. I can't decide whether to wear pants and a twin set or a dress or a suit to court. (advice welcome here!), I look at my lists over and over again in hopes that something can be checked off. I feel a heaviness, a weight that recognizes how HUGE this trip is. Please don't misread my language here. I am overwhelmed with many things: emotion (lots of tears at lots of random moments), resolve, , thanks, and that sense that though what is ahead is massive and daunting, it is beautiful and worth every stress and headache. I think this is how I felt when I was being induced with each of my daughters too. I was ready for the end, but overwhelmed at the thought of how I had to get there. This is how I feel tonight.

But when I am wandering around my house feeling overwhelmed, trying to choose which task to tackle, I peek into "the boys' room". I sometimes even go sit and rock in the chair. I unfold and refold blankets, pajamas, and outfits. I imagine Ivan here. Ivan will come home to this crib in this room in this house,...MY HOUSE!! When I walk into this room, my craziness subsides, even just for a moment. I rest in the overwhelmed place, because what is ahead, what is at the end, is what we have been hoping and praying and dreaming about for many, many months. I find peace here. God is so good.
(PS- there are photos of Ivan in this photo that have his face missing...this is creepy I know. I only did it on the computer so I could post this photo...his face is very present and very cute on the photos that are actually IN his room!)

Progress

We are making some serious progress in our preparations for our departure in 6 days!

Flights and hotels are booked...yippee!
Visas are set to arrive Friday.
Most of the necessary items for little Ivan and ourselves have been purchased.
We have new, crisp bills (and more on the way)
The sheets are on the newly set up crib.
There are clothes in the adorable red dresser that has been waiting to be filled.
Toys came out of storage and were washed and put in new toy bins.
We are telling everyone who will listen what is JUST AROUND THE CORNER...

Our trip agenda as of right now is this (much is subject to change...be on the lookout for changes--I will post any that occur):
October 27: Flight to Moscow
October 28: Arrive Moscow and get some good rest
October 29: Tour Moscow a bit and catch the late afternoon train to Nizhny
October 30: Go to orphanage to visit Ivan
October 31: Court at 2pm Nizhny time (3am California time)
November 3: Phil and Barrett fly back to USA while Clara and I wait for all of the final waiting/ steps until we can bring Ivan home
November 14: Clara, Melanie, and Ivan fly HOME!

I am tired and still have LOTS of items on today's list to check off, but I will post again before we leave for sure.

Trick or Treat!

Do they trick-or-treat in Russia? This is the important question today in our family (for Barrett anyway).

We got a court date!! October 31!!

Things are CRAZY here. We have only known 1 hour and are feverishly preparing.

Look for updates soon and please be praying for all that needs to be accomplished in these next 2 weeks.

Tagged

Well, I have been "tagged". My assignment is to write six random facts about myself. Hmmmm...I can think of lots of very random (perhaps even strange) things...it is just about choosing which ones to share!
Rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random facts about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the taggers know when your "Six Random Things" entry is up.

1. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE old fashioned popcorn: the kind made in a WhirleyPopper with oil, salt and butter. It is my comfort food. Sometimes I eat it for dinner. I cry less if I eat popcorn.

2. I eat a lot of candy. More than is normal for a woman in her 30's.

3. I am a sucker for flavored coffee creamers. Pumpkin Spice, Peppermint, etc. They make me wake up nicer.

4. I have a weird sound issue--Noise makes me kind of crazy if I am trying to do anything else at all. Especially talk or listen.

5. I do not like rice in my burritos. Californians think I am strange. I do not think rice belongs in burritos. Ever.

6. I have a need to create: write, sew, bead, etc. It is healing to my soul. I need to do it more.

Now for my victims of this exposing little game:
Chrystal
Melissa
Ashley
Michelle
Katie
Lindsay

Filling it!

I took the plunge and ordered a baby sling. It was a bit of a monumental purchase for me as I have still not been buying much for little Ivan. But I felt ready to get my sling (and felt like I needed to practice a bit before the item was fully necessary to use). I have never had a sling before. But all of my cool mommy friends use slings now and I have read oodles of positive comments about using a sling to promote attachment in adoption. So I'm in the club now...I am planning to be a slinging mommy...we'll see if the little man and I grow as fond of it as everyone else seems to be.

Now, slings are as varied as ice cream flavors so you can be sure I had a bit of stress over which sling to order. I settled on a "hybrid ring sling" as it seemed to be a good "starter sling" and fairly easy to use. It arrived on Saturday and I was a bit overwhelmed but up for the challenge, so I scooped up my 3 and a half year old (who weighs A LOT more than Ivan) and took the sling for a..."sling-spin"! Maryn giggled the entire time and I got more comfortable in the different positions it can be used. (Well, "comfortable" is maybe a stretch. She is 40 pounds and that was a bit heavier than I would prefer the sling to be).

I thought about posting a picture of me with my small dog in the sling, but it is honestly a bit disturbing. Although closer in size to Ivan, again, disturbing and a bit damaging for my dog I fear! I am however posting a few pictures of my girls and the slings I made them. They simply could NOT go without them and begged me to order them one right away. I decided to do a bit of research and after finding a free pattern online and some fabric in my garage, we were all set. It was a fun project and each girl helped me sew their own. There have been lots of baby dolls taking rides on my sweet girls lately. They have love practicing being mommies. (Maryn actually prefers to carry small stuffed animals. Which is quite handy really as she is like a zoo-keeper these days...we honestly have kittens, puppies, elephants, a koala, and an assortment of other small cute things with us wherever we go. And please don't be concerned, they must ALL be buckled in seat belts in the car when we go anywhere. Literally. Like a traveling circus.)

So, I am gonna be a sling-Mommy and I am pretty stoked about that. My wise friend said the other day as she spoke affectionately of her super hip Mommy sling, "The only thing better than having it is filling it..." Amen!

More Waiting

Ivan has been "showing up" around our house. Today he appeared in Maryn's drawing of our family (also featuring the 'happy sun' and 'octopus in the sky'!). He is being mentioned in more and more conversations, prayers, story-telling, and even a few far-fetched excuses! Maggie brought home an "All About Me" poster today that listed that she has 2 brothers. I cried. When she saw my tears she said, "What mom? I do!"

I find myself saying I am a mother of "almost 4" (which evokes a few confused looks...sometimes I just smile...). I love that we talk about him. I can't wait until he can hear us.

Ivan also has a collection of clothes now--just essentials really--his super cozy snow suit for our time in Russia, some basic shirts, sweatpants, and a few delicious pajamas. I confess that I have a pajama problem. I love kids in p.j.'s...especially the footed sleeper kind...Ivan has some of those you can be sure.

We have no new news. We DID however complete our final documents needed for court (well, let's not say "final", that sounds too definite...I know all too well that is not likely true). We sent off the final things Nizhny was asking for, were re-fingerprinted for our I 171-H, and now are just waiting for the vacationing judge to assign us a court date. Someone asked me the other day where I thought a judge in Nizhny vacationed for 5 weeks...I think this is a good question to ponder. One friend even speculated that the judge could be here, in Southern California vacationing...perhaps we have seen her. (I hope I was having one of my good days if I did.) And I hope she was prepared for the oppressive heat we are having. MISERY. It really is bad--and it makes me a little nutty. October is for sweatshirts, pumpkin spice lattes, and yummy smelling candles. It is not fun to drink pumpkin spice lattes when it is 100 degrees outside. It should almost not be allowed :)

Wherever the judge finds herself (and I am quite certain that she is NOT in SoCal), I hope it is restful and refreshing. I hope she comes back ready and eager to get some kids to their forever homes. (And let's have Ivan be the first one, shall we?)