I am a bit weary these days. We have been registered for months now, expecting things to come along quickly. We increased our age range, anticipating a shorter wait for our referral. We have watched those registered only weeks before us now head back for trip#2...And still we sit here with no new news. As I have learned in my walk with the Lord, He can handle all of my "stuff": my fears, frustrations, doubts, anger, etc. and so I have been honest with Him about this weariness of heart. "I have 3 months off this summer...3 months that would've been perfect for bonding with a new son, 3 months providing a very flexible schedule to make travel plans to far away places, 3 months to...apparently keep on waiting...what could You possibly be up to, Lord?"
While I don't know the answer to what He is up to, I do have a few glimpses of His Hand at work in these slow-moving days. These come mostly in my quiet, still moments with God, the moments when I am honest, desperate, exhausted, confused... and He draws near. For years I have read from a refreshing daily devotional,
Streams in the Desert. There have been countless days when the entry was exactly what I needed...spoke directly to my struggles...gave me insight and wisdom to a question I was asking. These recent days have been some of those. One week ago, on May 17th, my time with God began with this poem by J. Danson Smith in the entry from
Streams; I have since re-read it many times...certain that it was meant just for me this week.
Waiting!Yes, patiently waiting!
Till next steps made plain will be;
To hear, with the inner hearing,
The Voice that will call for me.
Waiting! Yes, hopefully waiting!
With hope that need not grow dim;
The Master is pledged to guide me,
And my eyes are unto Him.
Waiting! Expectantly waiting!
Perhaps it may be today
The Master will quickly open
The gate to my future way.
Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
I know, though I've waited long,
That, while He withholds His purpose,
His waiting cannot be wrong.
Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
The Master will not be late:
Since He knows that I am waiting
For Him to unlatch the gate.
Unlatch the gate Lord; in Your perfect time, please unlatch the gate.
Last Thursday, May 22nd, our family crossed a major threshold: B's "Made for an Angel" bracelets and our other fund-raising efforts reached $10,000! It was only 1 year ago that we began this massive effort--all stemming from B's wish to go to Russia with us to pick up his new brother. When I have been frustrated with the wait, B has reminded me, "Mom, it's just more time to raise more money!" How right he was....We never dreamed one year ago that B would so far exceed his initial fund-raising goal of $1,000 and raise what now sits in his "for Russia" account: $10,188! 
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