A Picture of Hope

I love this painting. I love it for many reasons: it reminds me what B was like when he painted it for his kindergarten graduation; it makes me smile to see his concept of the assignment he was given: "paint children"; it gives me hope. I framed this adorable painting and love to look at it hanging on the wall--(often through teary eyes) because it represents to me faith in a BIG GOD.

I saw my son holding up this painting at his kindergarten graduation as an affirmation from the Lord that He was at work in our family. We had been praying about adopting for some time and were expressing this concept of feeling "called to adopt"--something that gets stronger for us every day. I had one of those "cry my eyes out" moments only days before when the cost and task seemed totally daunting and terribly overwhelming. I remember crying out to God, "Why have you asked us to do something we can't do?--We can't pay for this..." His reply was simple & clear: "I set the stars in the sky and the fish in the sea...what is this expense to me? I can handle it...let Me handle it".

I have always admired other Christians who expressed and lived out huge faith--but this has not been me. I am intensely practical and often too 'realistic'--I see the road blocks, not the road. I see the challenges, not the God of the impossible. This experience was for me an opportunity to grow, to trust, to hope. And so when I saw my son pull this painting from behind his back and hold it over his head with a huge grin, I cried. I knew this was just another picture of God being in complete control. I still don't know who our new child is or what he looks like, but I know God does. I believe he is represented in the painting that hangs on my wall: and that gives me great hope. I still have my moments of panic and stress, but there truly is a deep sense of faith--not in our abilities and certainly not in our finances, but in a faithful God. We have already been blown away by His hand in this process--from recycling to B's booming bracelet business --God is making a way for us. I believe He will only continue to do so.

Famous indeed

"Mom, am I kinda famous?" "Actually B., yes you are kinda famous." A huge grin and little giggle emerged from our 6 year old son. B is famous! He has raised $2,100 as of today towards our adoption...here's the story:

Our oldest child B came to us a few months ago and asked if he could go to Russia with us to "pick up" his new brother. We told him that due to the cost of the plane ticket and us now knowing how even Mommy and Daddy were going to get there, it wasn't going to work out. "But I have $135" was his matter of fact reply. We told him a ticket would cost more like $1000 and he headed off to his room. A few minutes later, B returned with a well-thought out plea: "Well, since I am going to be his only brother, I think he wants to meet me first. And I think he wants me to see where he was born since he'll get to see where I was born. I can save $1000. I'll do extra chores. I really want to go to Russia."

Of course our hearts melted and we agreed to let him go under one condition: that he did pay for his own plane ticket. B was THRILLED and saw the challenge ahead as a totally achievable goal. We decided that he could do a large recycling drive (in CA we can turn in plastic bottles, soda cans, etc. for cash), some jobs in our neighborhood, and a few other fundraisers. He was pumped! He paid for his passport out of his own money and he was off... The recycling was an instant success: our kids LOVE the hunts for bottle and cans. We have a number of wonderful friends saving their recycling for us. B even recycled at an Angels' game recently after nearly being moved to tears at the thought of leaving all those bottle and cans behind!

Around Mother's Day, I came up with a craft for B's Sunday School class to make their moms and it has emerged (per B's idea) into a massive effort towards B's trip. B makes bracelets. We started out thinking he would sell 50 or so to family and close friends...he is well on his way to selling 300! B decided that his goal of $1000 was "too simple" for him and so now he is on his way to raise $5000--he'll pay for his plane ticket, food, hotel, and supplies for the trip, gifts for the orphanage, and perhaps his new brother's ticket home! We are so proud of him; and now due to the large success of the "Made for an Angel" bracelets, are all part of this crafting effort. He even has college students from the University where my husband and I work volunteering their time to try to keep up with the orders. B buys all of his own supplies and has designed these adorable bracelets. He has a charm that says, "Made for an Angel" in the middle of each bracelet...of course that angel is his brother.

And so yes, B is famous! Most people he asks to save their recycling for him or purchase one of the hand-made bracelets, agree instantly and get teary-eyed telling him what a great job he is doing. He has made us so proud and we KNOW he can reach his goal. It feels pretty cool to be the parents of someone famous!

**For those who are interested in purchasing one of these adorable bracelets to help B's cause, please leave a comment with your email address and we'll get in touch with you. The bracelets are each "one of a kind" with various beads and colors. The adult bracelets are $10 and the kids sizes are $5.

Why Russia?

In my college days, I always imagined adopting a child from somewhere within the US. I served in the inner-city of Chicago and definitely thought the Lord would lead me back there someday to adopt a child, but my heart was led in a different direction. As we began to think and pray about actually embarking on this journey, I still felt a bit unsure of where we would pursue the adoption. I led a college women's small group at the time and asked them to pray with me that we would be clearly directed to a place. As I read, prayed, read some more, and put in many hours of research, Russia emerged...it just made sense. Phil's mom, Clara was BORN IN RUSSIA! She has an incredible story of survival, escape, and freedom as she and her family escaped Russia during World War II and walked from Russia to Germany for 2 YEARS! Clara was only 10 years old when they began walking and the journey was tragic in many ways. She lost a young brother to scarlet fever on this trek and finally arrived in Germany with her parents to then live in displaced person's camp for a number of years. Clara still cooks many Russian dishes and is still fluent in the language...What a gift to us as we pursue this adoption from Russia. We have asked her to travel with us on our 2nd trip and are just thrilled to be taking her back to the place of her birth. And so for us, choosing Russia had many factors--it feels in many ways as if it has always meant to be this way.

Here we go!

Truth be told, this journey has seemed much longer than my calendar lets me know is reality. I have been dreaming about this adoption for many years, the last one and a half seeming particularly long. Just days after the birth of our third child, I read an article while waiting in the pediatrician's office about 2 families that had adopted in Russia and came home to tell my husband that I wanted to begin the process of researching and pursuing adoption. He looked at me with sympathetic eyes knowing that I must be immensely sleep deprived to even mention such a thing. Phil has always been open to the idea of adopting, but definitely thought it would be much later in life for us.
As our third child M grew, so did my interest and passion to adopt. I spent hours researching, reading, and talking to agencies and families about this journey I was literally aching to begin. I began to pray very specifically that God would either fan the flame of interest in my heart to adopt, or would snuff it out. Boy did He fan! A HUGE confirmation for me was when my husband began to talk about us adopting and telling others that we felt called to adopt. I knew that the Lord was stirring in his heart and it would only be a matter of time before my dream to add a precious child to our family through the miracle of adoption would come true.
And then we waited...we waited just to begin the process due to some possible job/ re-location opportunities. The wait seemed like torture at times--I knew that the actual process of adopting would bring many months of waiting, but now even the pre-adoption process was filled with wait. But the Lord showed me purpose in the wait and He grew my faith. And here we are with an ALMOST completed dossier and a growing excitement for this stage in the journey. Having been physically pregnant 3 times now, I have grown to appreciate the 9+ months of growing a child, and dreaming of what he/ she will look like. I have been thankful for the TIME to prepare my house, my family, and myself to add another member to our family. And I feel the same way about this stage of the adoption process. We need the time--we need to learn more and more about Russia, prepare our "new brother's" room, to raise money for this venture, and to grow HUGE places in our hearts for this special little man. There are days (today being one of them) that I am emotionally tired and physically aching for this new son. I am certain that my hormones are more out of whack with this adoption than with any of my other pregnancies! And so yes, I do consider us pregnant. This child grows in our hearts each day--we dream of experiences, opportunities, conversations, and 'firsts'. And in these months of waiting (which I know have only just begun) we ask the Lord to fill our time with things that will prepare us for the 'birth' into our family of this little man we are just dying to love on...